Pok'edmon: The Pilot Series
by FanFiction Administrator
Summary: Hey. Hurricane is letting me take the wheel from Pok'edmon for a while, and in short this is what Pok'edmon would originally be like. Main Pairings: EY/NZ, DD/MY P , JM/SA, ED/OC
1. Pokemon Ed'ition

Pok'edmon: The Pilot Series!  
Chapter 1: Pokemon Ed'ition

[Warning: This in no way canon to regular Pok'edmon]

"Rhyhorn, Tackle!" Eddy commanded has his Rock Rhino charged at a tiny plug monster.

"Don't give up Elekid" Double D encouraged as his pokemon. "Cross Chop" Double D ordered. Elekid charged at Rhyhorn, only to be blind-sighted by Ed's Magby.

"Yup-Ya-Woo" Ed whooped happily. "Magby, use Fire Punch. It goes woosh'"

Magby suddenly changed targets and slammed a fist full of fire into Rhyhorn. Rhyhorn was then Low Kicked by Elekid, KOing it.

"Ed" Eddy whined. "I thought you were on my team!" Eddy returned his Rhyhorn, sulking.

"It's a three-way battle Eddy" Double D explained. "There are no sides".

Before Ed and Double D could finish their showdown, a van pulled up besides the make-shift arena. Out stepped a middle aged man, wearing a lab coat.

"Oh my word. It's Professor Oak!" Double D said surprised. Double D was a big fan of Oak's work.

"Hello children" Oak smiled. "I'm hear because I heard that some very skilled pokemon trainers live in this town"

"That would be us, old-timer!" Eddy shouted.

"Eddy, Manners" Double D said.

"Oh, it's no trouble" Oak said with a grin. "Come down to my research centre in Rethink Avenue at 4: 00. I'll be ready to show you everything by then" Oak said as he began to walk into town.

"Sheesh, what a perv" Eddy said loudly and rudely.

"Eddy, Manners" Double D scolded. "Now, we should probably clear the arena away before it disrupts the traffic". Double D turned to Ed and said "Ed, Bulldozer Please"

Ed's attention snapped as he somehow contorted his arms into that of a bulldozers and he lifted the entire arena. Ed's Magby was wearing a hardhat and was pulling Ed's ears as if they were levers.

"Well I still don't buy it" Eddy said as he went to Jimmy's house. Why? Because Jimmy was the only kid in town who had a pokemon rejuvenating ionising central kit, or P.R.I.C.K's as they were called.

[4: 02]

"Are, there you are" Oak said as Ed, Edd n Eddy walked into his research centre. Eddy was giving a "Clearly I'm Bored" face, Double D had his tattered old pencil behind his ear and notebook in hand and Ed was stuffing his face with prawn cocktail flavoured crisps. Rhyhorn was Carrying Eddy on it's back. Magby was on Ed's shoulder, also gobbling crisps. Elekid was in Double D's hat.

"Now, Edwin, Eddward and Edmund, I am about to ask for you're assistance in a most important matter." Oak said seriously. "If you so wish to assist me, you are to travel around a region of your choice, and help me complete the Pokedex". Oak handed them a world map, to choose which region.

"Ed wants to go to Sinnoh!"  
"I think Johto is a more preferable choice"  
"Kanto is were hot people live"

Eventually, the Eds decided to go to Hoenn. Oak gave them a Pokedex, Pokenav and Pokétch each.

"Now" Oak said. As official pokemon trainers, I must now give you a pokemon"

"Alright" Eddy said. "Free pokemon"

Oak led the Eds to a large pen. Inside were 12 pokemon. A; Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle, Chikorita, Cyndaquill, Totodile, Treecko, Torchick, Mudkip, Turtwig, Chimchar and a Piplup.

"Take you're pick" Oak said. Ed rushed towards Torchick yelling "Chicken!" However, Piplup, offended that it wasn't the absolute first priority, jumped it Ed's way, which accidentally pushed Treecko into Chimchar, who attacked Turtwig in fury, setting off a chain reaction.

By the time the fracas was over, there was a hole in the wall and the only Pokémon left in the pen were the Kanto starters, Chikorita, Torchick and Piplup.

"This is disastrous!" Oak wailed. "Those Pokémon aren't bred for the outside. Boys" Oak said as he turned to the Eds. "I need you to get those six Pokémon back. Please!"

Double D nodded and said. "We shall undertake this mission".

"Hey" Eddy snapped. "I'm in charge of this operation. Now, I say we split up and when we find two of the Pokémon, we come back here!" Eddy instructed, oddly insightfully. Double D was quite surprised by Eddy's maturity in the situation, and went along with no complaints.

[With Ed and Magby]

Ed was at the swimming hole because he saw something shiny at the bottom of the lake.

"Hey Magby, if its treasure we could sell it for cash and Eddy will give a pudding skin!" Ed said as he dived into the water. "Coming Magby?"

"(No thank you comrade)" Magby said in an outrageously fake Russian accent.

Ed submerged with Totodile latched on his head. "Look what I found" Ed said.

"(Good on ya Mate!)" Totodile said in an equally fake Australian Accent.

"(Hey)" Magby said, still maintaining his Russian persona. "(I do the accents around here)"

[With Double D and Elekid]

Double D and Elekid were wandering through the forest, having seen a green blur rush into it. Currently, Double D, having had several terrible memories of the Kankers flood back into his mind, was in a fetal position and Elekid was dragging him through the woods. Elekid paused when he heard a rustling through the trees. Treecko jumped down and was wearing a black skull cap, sunglasses and a golden chain. He was also holding a microphone that was likely stolen from a Jigglypuff.

"(Treecko, you better come with us right now!)" Elekid demanded, trying to sound as tough as he could, but failing miserably.

"(Yo-yo-yo dawg)" Treecko said in a rappers voice. "(Fo'Schizzel, You being all up in my crib)"

"Ow, my head!" Double D said as he woke from his trance. "Oh my Elekid, you found the missing Pokémon, well done"

Double D had captured Treecko in a butterfly net, a was off to find another pokemon.

[With Eddy and Rhyhorn]

Eddy was in the Junkyard with Rhyhorn because he had seen a pillar of fire blasting a car into the Cul-De-Sac. Sure enough, Cyndaquill was blasting everything in sight.

"Rhyhorn, Rock Blast!" Eddy commanded as Rhyhorn spat boulders at the fire shrew. Cyndaquill dodged the boulders and then started to eat the boulder!

"What the…?" Eddy asked quizzically, before Cyndaquill started to spew lava at the two.

"(Eat lava bitches)" Cyndaquill jeered.

Some of the lave was flecked onto Rhyhorn, who because to frown, the breathe heavily, then grit his teeth, then began seeing red. And then he charged at the little pokemon. Eddy was ontop of Rhyhorn screaming in fright.

Cyndaquill then somehow managed to stop Rhyhorn with just two hands. Eddy looked impressed.

"Hey Quillo" Eddy said. "Ya wanna come with me and my buddies on the most ass-kicking adventure ever?" Eddy offered.

Cyndaquill, interested in the offer, shook Eddy's hand, ready to adventure with him. 

3


	2. Let's Get Start'Ed

Pok'edmon: The Pilot Series  
Chapter 2: Let's get Start'Ed

[Quick note. Characters are 18 in this story. Also, this fic in no way condones or praises the usage of Stereotyping]

[With Ed, Magby and Totodile]

Ed with the two incredibly stereotyped pokemon were in Ed's house eating, having completly forgotten the mission.

Ed then realised that in order to eat chunk puffs, he would need a spoon. "Spoon please!" he yelled as he went to the cutlery draw and pulled out…

A fork, a knife, a rolling pin, a salad tosser, a whisk, a cheese knife, a cleaver, a saw, a hammer, a Phillips head screwdriver, a spanner, a pair of pliers, a monkey wrench, another fork, a record for Igor Stravinsky, Turtwig, a spoon, a power drill…Wait! Turtwig!

Ed turned to see a grass turtle scoffing the organic yogurt. "Yay, I win!" Ed said as he scooped up the three the pokemon and sped of to Oaks Lab.

[With Double D, Elekid and Treecko]

Double D was half way up a tree, attempting to negotiate with a Chimchar who was stuck.

"Come on boy…" Double D said before being interrupted.

"Char!" Chimchar said indignantly.

"Sorry,… Girl?" Double D stammered. Chimchar still shook her head and blasted a fireball at Double D, who fell to the ground with a thump.

"(Yo-yo Plugman.)" Treecko rapped. "(It's all down to you and me to knock him some ghetto cred!)".

"(What?)" Elekid said. Treecko frowned slightly at the lack of communication between the two pokemon.

"(Yo, Yes, You, Miss C-Fire.)" Treecko said, seemingly incapable of speaking any language other than Ghetto Slang. "(Now's, you get down from that tree, or we is bustin' a cap in yo ass!)"

"(What's in it for me?)" Chimchar asked. Treecko grinned, flashing a set of serrated teeth.

"(Yo come down)" Treecko said. "(An' I give you an hour or so wit' da yellow dude.)" Treecko said.

"(Deal!)" Chimchar said as she climbed down the tree)"

"(Oh god no!)" Elekid tried to run but was jumped by Chimchar

[With Eddy, Rhyhorn and Cyndaquill]

Eddy and Cyndaquill were on top of Rhyhorn, who was trudging through the sewers. Eddy had gotten a call from both Ed and Double D saying that they had found their pokemon, so Eddy knew what he was looking for and where it might be. Thank you Double D for those Pokémonology Lessons.

Eddy had spent an hour in the sewers when he decided to lie down. Then his back touched something squishy.  
"(Howdy there, Human Guy.)" Mudkip said. Eddy's attention snapped and he made a grab for Mudkip, who wiggled free thanks to its sliminess.

"Hey, come back here!" Eddy demanded. Eddy saw Mudkip, who scampered into a hole in a wall. "Rhyhorn!" Eddy said. "Bust it down!"

Rhyhorn nodded and rammed through the wall, to find Mudkip buried under a pile of bricks.

"(Help me!)" Mudkip squealed.

Eddy had Rhyhorn and Cyndaquill shift rubble to save Mudkip.

Normally, Eddy wouldn't give two shits about another creature's well being, but pokemon were different. To Eddy, Pokemon were equal to himself. Not higher, but pretty close.

Mudkip was dug out, and instantly jumped into Eddy's arms, sniffing.

"Come on Mudsy." Eddy said as he climbed on to Rhyhorn, with Mudkip on his shoulder. "Let's go home."

"(What a Douche!)" Cyndaquill said to Rhyhorn, who slowly nodded.

[Back at Oaks Lab]

The Eds returned with two starters each, Ed had Totodile and Turtwig, Double D had Treecko and Chimchar and Eddy had Cyndaquill and Mudkip.

"Excellent work boys!" Oak said. Oak frown slightly when he looked at the pokemon. They had all bonded, except for maybe Chimchar who was clearly more interested in sex with Elekid the than anything else, and it would be difficult to separate them. After all, Pokemon can only imprint on a person once.

"Look boys." Oak began. "I'm afraid I can only give you one pokemon each." Oak's voice trailed off, his eyes catching glimpses of the Pokémon's faces.

Totodile had bonded with Turtwig, and realised that they would be separated. Treecko hung his head, knowing that Chimchar was stronger than him, a that Double D would probably pick her over him. Chimchar, on the other hand, thought that she had made a bad impression on Double D and would not likely to be picked. Mudkip was tearing up, sobbing on Eddy's shoulder. Cyndaquill couldn't give to shits.

"But!" Oak began, knowing he was going to kick himself later. "I suppose I could…Just this one time…allow you to keep both." Oak sighed.

Both Human and pokemon were overjoyed. Totodile, Turtwig and Magby all jumped on Ed, bringing the burly boy to the floor. Chimchar was so overcome she almost kissed Elekid, with Treecko laughing hysterically and Double D furiously taking notes. Mudkip almost kissed Cyndaquill, but the fire type punched Mudkip, BAM, right in the kisser. Rhyhorn let a small smile escape his lips for about a nano second.

Oak saw the boys off as they returned there pokemon and ran to Double D's house.

At Double D's house, Double D went to the supplie closet, pulled out a sticky note and wrote

Dear Mother  
I am writing to announce that I am going on a Pokemon Journey, and that I will be unavauble for the next year.  
Yours Sincerely, Eddward Waters

Double D then led his less brainimated companions into the Garage, were sat, the gleaming, fixed-up, Retro Van.

Eddy ran head first and instinctively clipped himself into the driver's seat, clasping the wheel.

"Um, Eddy." Double D said. "What are you doing?"

"I'm driving the van! What does it look like?" Eddy asked.

"Let me see your wallet Eddy." Double D said. Eddy hesitated, but finally gave his friend the wallet. "Now let's see." Double D said. "You have a; Library Card, a Bite Card, a Social Support Number, a City Bus Pass and a Netflix membership that expires in six weeks. But you know what you don't have that I have. A driver's licence! Now get in the back!" Double D said smugly. Eddy was shocked that _Double D_, of all people, had successfully "one-upped" him.

Eddy's sadness, however, quickly dissolved upon the discovery that Double D had installed an Xbox and a Mini Fridge.

Double D put the stick-shift into drive and sped off into the highway to the tunnel that led to Hoenn. 


	3. Insert Ed Pun Here

Pok'edmon: The Pilot Series  
Chapter 3: Insert "Ed" Pun Here

[Quick note: Whilst regular Pok'edmon has HF n' Ed, Pok'edmon PS will have Quick Notes]

Eddy and Ed bounded out of the Retro Van in an unsightly mess, Eddy's hands still gripped tightly over Ed's elongated neck.

"Why you little!" Eddy fumed as he continued to choke his yellow friend.

"Eddy!" Double D sighed as he saw that, yet again, Ed had done something to aggravate Eddy. "Elekid." Double D turned to his yellow pokemon. "Thunder Wave please."

Eddy's nerves suddenly tightened, forcing him to let go of his oafish companion. Eddy had been paralysed by Double D's Elekid. Ed had the sense to let it several breathes, now that he had his oxygen supply back.

Double D squatted to Eddy and Ed's eye level. "Fellows." he said in his 'Reasonable' voice. "Let us not bicker on the first in many a mile that we have felt ground beneath our feet. We are in Littleroot town, and that is what matters."

Eddy was both confused and irritated by Double D's lengthy vocabulary, but decided that whatever his sock-hatted friend was blah-blah-blahing about, it had to be somewhat relevant.

Eddy limbered up as the paralyse wore off, and proceeded to kick Double D in the 'Nether Region'.

"My Southern Hemisphere!" Double D wheezed.

[Minutes Later]  
Eddy and Ed, who had Double D draped over his shoulder, walked into Littleroot Town. It was a fairly isolated town, with no Pokemon Centre or Poke Mart. In fact, the only place of interest was the Pokemon Lab, which was run by Prof. Birch.

The trio entered the lab, as Double D had dismounted from Ed's shoulder. A portly man was tinkering with what used to be a Pokedex, muttering to himself about "Bloody Magnemites, messing with his equipment."

"Um, hello?" Double D said. Prof. Birch was startled to the point were he banged his head on the machinery above him.

"Who! What! When! Where! Why!" Birch stammered in utter confusion. He turned to the three strange charecters in his lab. "Um…" He began. "Who are you?"

"We sir…" Double D began before he was interrupted.

"We're Ed, Edd n Eddy!" Eddy shouted while Ed gave a whoop and Double D face palmed.

"Oh yes, Peach creek's Finest. Prof. Oak called and said you would arrive a few days ago." Birch informed. "What faction will you be taking?"

"Faction?" Double D repeated.

"Yes, Faction. It determines what kind of trainer you will be and what kind of competion you enter?" Birch explained. Birch walked to a draw and pulled out three pink sheets. "Once you decide, have an official sign it and mail it back to me."

Birch handed them each a slip and Double D promptly took them away from his friends and stored them in his hammer space hat.

"On the way!" Birch called out to the Eds, who were almost out the door. "Say hello to May, my daughter!"

Unfortunately, Ed had picked up on the word 'May' and was unable to tell Birch was referring to a different May. Ed started screaming and shaking about "Girl Germs!" and how it was "Bad for Ed!".

Whump!

Eddy had his Rhyhorn subdue Ed. Even Ed, the boy who had once flipped the world over by gripping onto the ground and pulling it over his head, was not strong enough to lift Rhyhorn.

Eddy returned Rhyhorn and Double D gave Ed a sandwich, calming him down. On Double D's insistence, the Eds scurried out of Birch's lab, tactfully avoiding eye contact. After all, Ed had smashed all of Birch's stuff.

[Route 105]

Pokemon as common as Poochyene or Wurmple, or as rare as Ralts or Seedot, were scurrying along the route, but carefully avoiding all the humans. The Eds all had different things on the minds, or slice of toast in Ed's case.

Ed was scurrying on all fours, his three pokemon on his back. Totodile somehow got his hands on a cowboy hat.

"(Yee Haw! Gee up partner!)" Totodile said in a cowboy accent that was a lot more believable than his Australian accent.

"(Hey dere bub!)" Magby said in a considerably lower calibre accent. "(Next time I ketch you doin' accents on ma turf, well, you an' I are gonna tangle!)"

"(Guys, don't fight!)" Turtwig shouted as the two pokemon were at each others throats.

"(Or what!)" They both shouted.

"(Or I'll kick you're motherfucking heads in! That's what!)" Turtwig snapped.

"Aww!" Ed said as his saw Totodile and Magby hug in fear. "They love each other."

Meanwhile on Double D's person, Treecko, Elekid and Chimchar were all tucked into Double D's backpack. The backpack was large enough to store the three prevolutions without damaging other items, and had signitures of famous English football players.

"(Yo MC Plugs, Miss C-Fire, we is finally hittin' da road)" Treecko said. Chimchar was beginning to suspect the gecko was mental.

"(Yo!)" Treecko said, attempting to get a responce from Elekid. "(Yo Elekid!)" Treecko shouted.

"(Oh, I'm sorry. Were you under the delusion that I was still talking to you?)" Elekid snapped.

"(The Fuck? Come on, why you gotta play a brotha like dat?)" Treecko rapped.

Elekid grabbed Treecko by the throat and with uncharacteristic strength, hoisted Treecko out of the bag.

"(Look here you retarded wannabe fuck!)" Elekid growled. "(You betrayed me! You sold me out! You let the monkey hunt me down and do things to me!)"

Treecko was gasping. "(Gotcha back Jack. Bitches be crazy)"

Elekid dropped Treecko.

"(Yo dudes! Don't leave me behind!)" Treecko shout as the group left without him.

"(Hey hot stuff)" the high, girly voice of a Kirlia said behind Treecko.

"(Shit!)"

Eddy was riding his Rhyhorn. It was his thing. Whilst Ed n Edd had to walk, Eddy would ride, and sharing the ride with his two new pokemon; Cyndaquill and Mudkip.

"(So Rhyhorn, how did you meet Eddy?)" Mudkip asked.

Rhyhorn remained silent.

"(Weeeellll?)" Mudkip asked.

Rhyhorn still remain silent.

"(You're not very chatty are you? If you ask me, you should totally…)"

BANG

Cyndaquill had knocked Mudkip unconscious with a frying pan.

"(What a douche!)" Cyndaquill said loudly.

Rhyhorn slowly noddened his head in agreement.

The Eds had got to route 103, where they saw a girl their age, badly bruised and floored on the ground.

"Oh My Lord!" DD exclaimed as he quickly ran to check her pluse.

"Is that lady dead?" asked Ed, who was geniunly concerned, but his dimwit prevented him from taking the appropriate action.

"She'll be fine, but, what could have done this?" Double D answered.

Suddenly, the tremendous roar of a Salamence sounded, as the dragon beast swooped at the three teens.

"Does THAT answer your damn question?" Eddy shrieked as he used Ed as a meat-shield.

"Yes."


End file.
